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The Art of Teenage Communication
 Have you ever noticed how many celebrities go on television and are constantly telling parents that they need to talk to their kids about all of the issues today? Of course you have, but what they don’t tell you is how to talk to your kids.
Experts say that communication between parents and children is vital to a child’s sense of safety, self-esteem and trust. However when a child enters high school and becomes more self-sufficient, communications can be tough. There are some guidelines that parents may find helpful when dealing with a communication issue.
No, is one of the smallest words in our language but it can be harmful when not used properly. When a child hears no from their parents it can actually set a negative frame of reference for how the child feels about themselves, their parents and the world. Instead, try whenever possible to say yes and redo the situation to look at other possibilities or options that won’t leave your teen feeling shut down.
 Ok, this next one is going to have you a little confused and it is to avoid criticism, yes normally parents do this to help their kids improve and to prepare them for the “real world”, but it can also lead to feeling shame, inadequacy and embarrassment. When possible start the conversation with something like: I am not sure you considered this possibility or I would like to hear your thoughts on this. Or even I would like to talk with you about what happened at school today, avoid what they consider put-downs and commands.
Try not to lecture, it is really not a communication tool; don’t cut your teen out of the conversation. Normally short and to the point whenever possible is always a good way to go. And, when possible try to inject a little humor into it if possible, for instance, if they are not available right then to talk with you leave them a note on their email or instant messenger, you can even add little emoticons or smileys (kids love those) to the email to remove some of the anxiety they are sure to be feeling when they are “summoned”. Also, feel free to point out your own mistakes from your teen years as examples for them, do not be afraid to laugh at yourself over some of the things you have done. Your child might feel better knowing that you used to do some pretty stupid things as well.
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